Happily married for over 20 years with kids, now in my 50s — and I’ve been punting for more than 30 years.
I’ve always enjoyed sex & have never felt the need to pretend otherwise. It took time, plenty of honest conversations, and a fair bit of give-and-take before my other half and I found an understanding that worked for us.
And just to be clear, sex at home is still great. But as much as I love a good home-cooked meal, I’ve never believed that means you can’t occasionally enjoy a meal out.
For me, punting sits in roughly the same corner of life as fast cars, a good whisky & base jumping. None of them are necessities, but that's rather the point. The French have a lovely expression for this: un péché mignon — a “favourite little sin”, that guilty indulgence you knowingly allow yourself simply because life would be a little less colourful (actually, very very dull) without it.
Wife has never had to question where she stand. She n my kids know I would protect them with my life in a heartbeat. But equally, don't ask me to give up my punting, my whisky or my motorcycle and expect me to suddenly become a different man. Over the years, none of it has taken away from my family life or diminished the love I have for my wife. If anything, having everything out in the open means there is less pretending, less sneaking around and fewer lies to maintain.
I suppose maybe I'm one of the fortunate ones. We eventually found an arrangement that works for us, even if it wouldn't work for everybody.
Funny thing is, we're often taught that honesty gets you into trouble. Sometimes, with the right person and enough mutual understanding, honesty is exactly what gets you out of it.
:::
Dekll: 'after become a punter, I think there is no way back to a normal relationship.'
I used to understand that way of thinking, but the longer you live, then comes a point when you understand the old saying, “No man is an island.” the fact that you jump in here and feel the need to type out your thoughts show this.
Independence is great, freedom is great, and having the liberty to live life on your own terms certainly has its appeal. But none of those things completely replace having someone who genuinely knows you, cares about you, and is still there when the excitement has worn off and life isn't going your way.When you're younger, it's easy to underestimate the value of that. As the years go by, you begin to realise just how precious it is to have a person you can fall back on and a place you can always call home.
You can buy company. You can chase excitement. You can enjoy freedom. But having someone who chooses to stand beside you through the boring days, the difficult days and the years when you're no longer at your best — that's a very different kind of luxury.
Perhaps becoming a punter doesn't mean there's “no way back” to a normal relationship. Maybe it simply teaches you that the two things fulfil very different parts of life — and one should never be mistaken for a replacement for the other.
I was doing some mental math to see how many dicks did that cost her (somewhere between 30 to 50 dicks)…
The best part was watching her face while every muscle seemed to be fighting a different battle — professionalism, horror, regret, and the sudden realisation that she'd just touched the evidence.
