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Granny Lili in Pakuranga tortures me, rapes my anus, and catches my cum in a paper towel 🤦‍♂️ Trusted Review

JohnnyPunter

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So today I felt like trying something different, I remember an earlier review on Lili in Pakuranga who offers prostate massage and decided to give it a go. Comms while booking were good and I asked her for prostate massage and also BJ which she agreed, so I headed there. She works out of a private house in Pakuranga. I arrived there and made my way to the door and she invited me in. She was quite a bit older than I was hoping, I would guess 50s, although she doesn't list any age on her profile. It is her in the photos but some of them have been touched up. She does have big breats and I'm not sure if they are natural or not, I only got to touch them once briefly and they felt kinda soft. I remember a while back she had another advert up showing her standing on a clients back using rails to massage him with her feet, but she is using a new advert now.

Face: 3.5/10
Body: 4/10
Tits: 5.5/10
(not sure if they are enhanced or not as she didn't really let me play with them)

She lead me to the a room with a massage table and we did the paper work, then I undressed and lay on the table. For the first part of the massage she had a sheet over me and used her hands to give me a massage through the sheet. A couple of minutes into the massage she stopped for a couple of minutes to put some music on, some old Chinese pop music that the aunties like. Volume was up a bit loud, thankfully it cut off after a couple of minutes. She complained that it kept cutting out, and she couldn't get it to keep playing. So she stopped and tried again, and again it cut out after two minutes. The music was pretty horrible so I was quite relieved actually.

Sheet massage: 3/10
Chinese Aunty pop music: 2/10
(thankfully she couldn't get it going)

Then it was time for her to do the feet thing, which was basically a torture session. She hoped up onto the bed and using the hand rails attached to her roof stability. Those handrails which would creak and moan throughout this whole part of the massage. At first she put her foot on the back of my tricep, underneath the sheet, and pushed down with all her weight on it for 10 seconds. Unfortunately her foot caught some of the fat/skin on my lat and was pinching it which hurt quite a lot, but I endure the pain. Then she did the exact same thing with the other side. For the next several minutes she stood on my back putting strategically putting her foot in places and putting her entire body weight on it. Depending on the position it differed between feeling uncomfortable to feeling excruciatingly painful. The worst part was when she dug her foot into my shoulder blades, I don't know if she used her heel or scrunched up her toes and dug them in, but it was excuiatingly painful. Pain level of 8/10 which really tested the limits of my pain tolerance. But I forced myself not to scream.

Foot torture: -5/10

Then finally the foot torture was over and she hopped of the table. She removed the sheet and begain a normal massage with oil. This was a lot better and not too hard. She did some breast sweeps and towards the end dance her fingers down my spine. Occasionally she would briefly tease my balls. Then stated giving my bum some attention. Then she asked if I wanted interal prostate massage, I said "okay" and waited apprehensively. She want and got some, I presume a condom, to cover her finger and some lube. Then proceeded to use it to penetrate my anus. I've had prostate play before a few times, and unfortunately this time she didn't really prime my anus and relax it first like an expert would. Just went straight in, so it was quite uncomfortable, especially with the condom providing extra traction. She would push it in, then stop and slowly nudge her finger back and forwards a couple of times, then push it further in and repeat. It felt uncomfrotable and weird like I needed to shit, so I asked her to stop. She laughed awkwardly and then went and discarded the condom. I think she got all the way in but not far enough to make it to the prostate. :ROFLMAO:

Prostate massage: 1/10 (She could have definately done it a bit better, but it's not really my thing anyway)

Then she began using paper towels to wipe off all the oil on my back, including any lube in my arse crack. Then it was time to flip over. She sat on the bed with her back to me, keeping her breasts out of reach then started strocking my cock. Then got up, grabbed a condom, put it on and started giving me a quite token blowjob which lasted between 30-60 sections. Then pulled the condom off and started stroking it again, which was quite disappointing.

CBJ: 2/10 (only lasted 30-60 seconds)

While she was stroking me off it I reached around and played with her lightly hairy pussy on the outside. Then I tried to gently insert my finger but she said no, so I stopped playing with it. She didn't let me play with her breasts either. Not sure if she doesn't like guys touching her tits, or you have to pay extra. It wasn't doing much for me having her sit there on the table with her back to me so I asked her to sit between my legs to jerk me off. Her hand job technique was actually pretty bad compared to the Chinese aunties I usually see. And it wasn't doing much for me and I started going flacid. So I asked if maybe she could rub her tits on it or something, or even better a tit job. She just said "No".

I didn't know how much time was left but I was litreally about to give up, but instead I had an idea of something I wanted to try. I turned around on got on all fours and told her to wank me off in that position. :ROFLMAO: She lady down horizotally under me and started jerking me off, and I started getting hard again. Then she started doing a weird thing where she was stroking the bottom of my shaft with an open palm... wtf? So I ended up taking over. The funny thing is I think the reason she was lying horizonatlly underneath was just because she didn't want me to cum on her massage table. She even had arm outstretched under my cock to try and catch the cum. She placed a paper towel over her tits. I just ignored her and kept wanking myself off hoping that the cum would at least go on her arm. Then right when I started cumming she covered my cock with the paper towel, I guess to prevent any cum getting on her or the table. It absolutely ruined the finish unfortunately. She offered me a shower after, which I used, and left shortly after.

Hand job: 3/10
Cum on paper towel: 0/10

Overall experience: 3/10


It was a really disappointing experience actually, kinda ruined the rest of my day. Basically paid $150 for a shitty tortorous massage and then for her to hold a paper towel for me to wank myself off into. I would have been much better off just going to 100 Marua or Aah Spa. The internal prostate massage wasn't very good, I think other ladies out there offer a better experience if you are after that. I'd recommend giving her a miss unless you feel like having someone walk on your back.

Bookings like these make my question why the fuck do I even waste my money on this shit? I could have gone and had a massage from a hot young Kiwi girl for about the same price. Or I could have gone and booked a girl at Sapphire Blue, Secret Companions, or Secret Liaisons for full service for only $70 more! What the fuck am I doing? I think from now on I'm quitting the old Asian Aunties and Grannies. Enough is enough, no more cheap Chinese rug and tugs for JP! 😠
 
3/10
Bookings like these make my question why the fuck do I even waste my money on this shit? I could have gone and had a massage from a hot young Kiwi girl for about the same price. Or I could have gone and booked a girl at Sapphire Blue, Secret Companions, or Secret Liaisons for full service for only $70 more! What the fuck am I doing? I think from now on I'm quitting the old Asian Aunties and Grannies. Enough is enough, no more cheap Chinese rug and tugs for JP! 😠
i think the same everytime i see you post a auntie review😂 i think your a masochist 😂😂
 
Poor bastard and you paid good money.
Who are best choices for SM with HE at Aah Spa and 100 Marua.Just keep picking wrong at the moment.
Cheers
 
Hard luck JP. As you know, I'm a treasure hunter as well with the Asian aunties. There are some real gems amongst the rough, but unfortunately a fair bit of rough as well. It's all part of the thrill of the hunt.

This one sounded particularly bad. I reckon you are being too generous with the 3/10. I don't think I've ever found one this bad in all my granny hunts. Really hope this isn't the last of the series.
 
I do love myself a Nice asian aunty as long as the service is there. But the sex and the price has to make up for the age factor :ROFLMAO:

Shame the service was not there on this one
 
This sounds like one that would require at least a couple of months to pass,before I would even talk out it. But glad you've seen the light.

Imagine getting a back injury and filling out the acc form;
How did you injure yourself? Getting walked on by an Asian auntie.
 
So today I felt like trying something different, I remember an earlier review on Lili in Pakuranga who offers prostate massage and decided to give it a go. Comms while booking were good and I asked her for prostate massage and also BJ which she agreed, so I headed there. She works out of a private house in Pakuranga. I arrived there and made my way to the door and she invited me in. She was quite a bit older than I was hoping, I would guess 50s, although she doesn't list any age on her profile. It is her in the photos but some of them have been touched up. She does have big breats and I'm not sure if they are natural or not, I only got to touch them once briefly and they felt kinda soft. I remember a while back she had another advert up showing her standing on a clients back using rails to massage him with her feet, but she is using a new advert now.

Face: 3.5/10
Body: 4/10
Tits: 5.5/10
(not sure if they are enhanced or not as she didn't really let me play with them)

She lead me to the a room with a massage table and we did the paper work, then I undressed and lay on the table. For the first part of the massage she had a sheet over me and used her hands to give me a massage through the sheet. A couple of minutes into the massage she stopped for a couple of minutes to put some music on, some old Chinese pop music that the aunties like. Volume was up a bit loud, thankfully it cut off after a couple of minutes. She complained that it kept cutting out, and she couldn't get it to keep playing. So she stopped and tried again, and again it cut out after two minutes. The music was pretty horrible so I was quite relieved actually.

Sheet massage: 3/10
Chinese Aunty pop music: 2/10
(thankfully she couldn't get it going)

Then it was time for her to do the feet thing, which was basically a torture session. She hoped up onto the bed and using the hand rails attached to her roof stability. Those handrails which would creak and moan throughout this whole part of the massage. At first she put her foot on the back of my tricep, underneath the sheet, and pushed down with all her weight on it for 10 seconds. Unfortunately her foot caught some of the fat/skin on my lat and was pinching it which hurt quite a lot, but I endure the pain. Then she did the exact same thing with the other side. For the next several minutes she stood on my back putting strategically putting her foot in places and putting her entire body weight on it. Depending on the position it differed between feeling uncomfortable to feeling excruciatingly painful. The worst part was when she dug her foot into my shoulder blades, I don't know if she used her heel or scrunched up her toes and dug them in, but it was excuiatingly painful. Pain level of 8/10 which really tested the limits of my pain tolerance. But I forced myself not to scream.

Foot torture: -5/10

Then finally the foot torture was over and she hopped of the table. She removed the sheet and begain a normal massage with oil. This was a lot better and not too hard. She did some breast sweeps and towards the end dance her fingers down my spine. Occasionally she would briefly tease my balls. Then stated giving my bum some attention. Then she asked if I wanted interal prostate massage, I said "okay" and waited apprehensively. She want and got some, I presume a condom, to cover her finger and some lube. Then proceeded to use it to penetrate my anus. I've had prostate play before a few times, and unfortunately this time she didn't really prime my anus and relax it first like an expert would. Just went straight in, so it was quite uncomfortable, especially with the condom providing extra traction. She would push it in, then stop and slowly nudge her finger back and forwards a couple of times, then push it further in and repeat. It felt uncomfrotable and weird like I needed to shit, so I asked her to stop. She laughed awkwardly and then went and discarded the condom. I think she got all the way in but not far enough to make it to the prostate. :ROFLMAO:

Prostate massage: 1/10 (She could have definately done it a bit better, but it's not really my thing anyway)

Then she began using paper towels to wipe off all the oil on my back, including any lube in my arse crack. Then it was time to flip over. She sat on the bed with her back to me, keeping her breasts out of reach then started strocking my cock. Then got up, grabbed a condom, put it on and started giving me a quite token blowjob which lasted between 30-60 sections. Then pulled the condom off and started stroking it again, which was quite disappointing.

CBJ: 2/10 (only lasted 30-60 seconds)

While she was stroking me off it I reached around and played with her lightly hairy pussy on the outside. Then I tried to gently insert my finger but she said no, so I stopped playing with it. She didn't let me play with her breasts either. Not sure if she doesn't like guys touching her tits, or you have to pay extra. It wasn't doing much for me having her sit there on the table with her back to me so I asked her to sit between my legs to jerk me off. Her hand job technique was actually pretty bad compared to the Chinese aunties I usually see. And it wasn't doing much for me and I started going flacid. So I asked if maybe she could rub her tits on it or something, or even better a tit job. She just said "No".

I didn't know how much time was left but I was litreally about to give up, but instead I had an idea of something I wanted to try. I turned around on got on all fours and told her to wank me off in that position. :ROFLMAO: She lady down horizotally under me and started jerking me off, and I started getting hard again. Then she started doing a weird thing where she was stroking the bottom of my shaft with an open palm... wtf? So I ended up taking over. The funny thing is I think the reason she was lying horizonatlly underneath was just because she didn't want me to cum on her massage table. She even had arm outstretched under my cock to try and catch the cum. She placed a paper towel over her tits. I just ignored her and kept wanking myself off hoping that the cum would at least go on her arm. Then right when I started cumming she covered my cock with the paper towel, I guess to prevent any cum getting on her or the table. It absolutely ruined the finish unfortunately. She offered me a shower after, which I used, and left shortly after.

Hand job: 3/10
Cum on paper towel: 0/10

Overall experience: 3/10


It was a really disappointing experience actually, kinda ruined the rest of my day. Basically paid $150 for a shitty tortorous massage and then for her to hold a paper towel for me to wank myself off into. I would have been much better off just going to 100 Marua or Aah Spa. The internal prostate massage wasn't very good, I think other ladies out there offer a better experience if you are after that. I'd recommend giving her a miss unless you feel like having someone walk on your back.

Bookings like these make my question why the fuck do I even waste my money on this shit? I could have gone and had a massage from a hot young Kiwi girl for about the same price. Or I could have gone and booked a girl at Sapphire Blue, Secret Companions, or Secret Liaisons for full service for only $70 more! What the fuck am I doing? I think from now on I'm quitting the old Asian Aunties and Grannies. Enough is enough, no more cheap Chinese rug and tugs for JP! 😠
Oh God, I’ve made and broken this very resolution so often that now I actually berate myself for making the pointless resolution!
 
All good, it makes you appreciate the good finds all the more.
I book the aunties too, it's part of the fun.
Thing is, you have to go in with 0 expectation.
 
Guys you are shockers!!
Thought I was a man of the world and had been around a bit,but you leave me for dead.
Wouldn't want a night out with you guys!!
Haha
I suddenly realise I've led a very sheltered life.
Asked you guys for your reccomendations for SM,HE and prostate massage at Marua Road and Aah Spa but I dread to think what you might come up with.
All good fun but after reading that lot I'm glad I'm not into anal!!
Haha
Keep up the e tertainment.
 
What a wild ride. Thanks for the cracking yarn.

I've had my share of 'what the fuck am I doing...' moments, so I feel you.
My "what the fuck am I doing..." moments are normally for when I look at the reflections in the mirror seeing a hot young girl fucking an ugly old guy like me, "what are you staring at??🥰" she said as she pulled me in for another kiss.

I know it's paid sex but the disconnect is still there and truely what the fuck am I doing here, I should be sitting somewhere playing chess while feeding the pigeons.

Also welcome home JP the prodical son, back to the land of milk and honey lol
 
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