Just thought I’d stick this in here.. sorry if it ruins the mood.
Do NOT go to Vitality Health Massage, Swanson St in the city!!
Was feeling like a quick rub+ and my usual place of release was not returning my texts. I remember visiting VMM before and not liking it, but thinking with the wrong head brought me back.
I send message, and got quick reply “yes free now” so I strut on up and walk-in.. the memories come back

.. was shown my bed/table, put all my stuff on the other bed and assumed position, massage started well and I was beginning to forgive and forget until the phone started ringing.. one hand massage while on the phone to another customer “yes, we are free, please come” I was like “ where you gonna put him/her? There’s like a foot between beds! Then she called for backup, moved my stuff onto chair and I could hear my phone, wallet and keys go flying to the floor.. at this point she’s fumbling over everything and then she just shunts my bed right up against the wall to make space for my roommate! I feel like jumping up and walking at this stage.
Guy walks in and 2 mins later his masseuse. Ok, that’s sorted, she’s back concentrating on me, yay. 10mins later another phone call “yes, we’re free, come when you want”
At this point I’m thinking, just finish the massage and go, hopefully the 3 guy is 20mins or more away, but then the other guys shows up.. and the conversation with him starts..
man- oh I see your busy, I’ll come back.
Greedy lady- no, no, I’m nearly finished, please wait. (This goes back and forth a bit) and I’m already writing this review in my head.
My “massage” resumes and it’s turnover time.
She gestures for a HE and I said “eh, no!” And she pull’s the towel off and starts teasing my balls! The bitch knew she had me cause I was hard within seconds.. I said no again and she just kept going, so being the polite customer, I went along for the ride. It was horrible.
At the end! I asked how much.. she said $120 for hour massage, and I gave her that, she looks at me like she wants to skin me alive, so I take out 3 $20 notes and give her 2, so $40 for the kinda forced HE. I thought that was fair. She then said out loud, no you owe me more, I give you discount and you still owe me! So I just gave her the other $20, more or less just to shut her up, and then she put her hand out for more!! I couldn’t believe it!!
I smiled and said that’s all I got, I will give you the rest next time. And I left.
I really felt sorry for the dude that was after me because there’s no way she got all that spunk cleaned up before he was allowed to use that segment of the room.
Anyway, avoid if you can.