JohnnyPunter
Well-known member
The background to this booking was that in a moment of boredom, I came up with the ridiculous idea to hold a competition on SexForum where the community could choose my next booking for a bit of fun. I should have known this was a bad idea, as of course, the punters all voted for the most unappealing or awkward escorts I could possibly book. The rules were that the escort had to be in Auckland, the max budget was $500, no trannys, and I reserved the right to walk (but go to the next highest voted escort). Everyone got two votes to put towards an escort. And surprisingly, a couple of escorts voted for themselves. The winner was Old Amy, an old Asian escort who had given a surprise Golden Shower on another veteran punter, OldMacdonald, that he detailed in a review on SexForum. Courtney Lane and Natasha Petrova tied in second place. I tried to book her but couldn't find the shop. The following week I tried again and succeeded...
The following travesty happened today (in February 2025). I’m a punter of my word and went back to see Old Amy today, the winner of my "The Sacrifice" competition. And the Golden Queen of OldMacdonald’s amazing review. Before I started the mission, I dropped a Viagra, it did cross my mind to drop two of them, but I don’t think it would have made any difference. I didn’t bother trying to book her, I just jumped in my car and went straight to Newmarket station. The shop is number 13, which was just two doors down from the closed place I went to last week. The shop is just an unassuming massage place. It doesn’t have any indication of what kind of massage they do there. I took a deep breath, then opened the door and entered.
Inside there was a little counter to the right and two chairs to the left. There was a plump Asian lady in her late 30s sitting on the chair, fixated on her phone. She didn’t even notice me. Relief poured over me, oh she’s not that bad. Then the lady looked up at me, then called out down the corridor “AMY!” A moment later, Amy appeared with a smile... she didn’t look a day over 70. Her hair was medium length and dyed black. It looked like it had extensions in. Her wrinkly face was covered heavily with pancake makeup. To be honest she probably wasn’t as bad as I was expecting, but still... pretty bad. Now looking at her profile, I think the photo that looks the most like her is the old lady at the beach... but imagine that lady 15-20 years older. If it wasn’t for the excessive makeup and skimpy outfit she would look like any other slightly overweight old Chinese granny walking with her roller bag to Tai Ping supermarket to get her groceries. I think the other younger lady may have been Lulu. I don’t know what happened to Susan.
Face: 1/10
Body: 1.5/10
They spoke very little to no English it was hard to converse with them about the price. I think they have upgraded their cardboard sign since OldMacdonald went. Instead there was a sign on the wall that just said “Sensual Massage” and the prices. I didn’t want to prolong my suffering, so I just said 30 minutes and gave Old Amy $100. Lulu had to give Amy $20 out of her purse to give me change. After I paid, they put some music on in the massage place, the singer sounded like the Chinese version of Frank Sinatra, something from the 50s or 60s. Then Old Amy led me to a little room, the second one down the corridor. It was very small, and the walls were painted pink. It had a massage table, a little side table with a lamp, a fan, and that’s it. When I was room, she locked the door from the inside, trapping me. She indicated for me to take my clothes off. I was having second thoughts, so I stripped down to just my boxer shorts and then got on the massage table. Amy moved a pillow out of the way to reveal a hole I could put my face in. Then she tugged at the back of my boxers and said, “Okay baby, okay?” I gave in and said “okay”, then she ripped my boxers off me so that I was butt naked. Then she began the massage.
It was quite a good therapeutic massage, a bit too rough for me. Chinese massage tends to be quite rough, which is not really my thing. Throughout the whole massage she kept playing with the cheap standing fan, adjusting the speed, etc. She made sure to massage in between my buttocks and inner thighs, and her hand rubbed against my balls numerous times. I was lying face down trying my best to suppress a laugh. I couldn’t believe I was doing this shit just for you guys. I was doing it for the LOLs. The most painful thing about the massage was when she grabbed my thighs and pulled her hands down, squeezing my flesh. It was borderline excruciatingly painful. Then she stopped the massage and got up on the table, and started licking me from my neck down to my arse, then to my feet. She said, “okay, Daddy?” I said “okay” even though she must have been at least 25 years my senior. I couldn’t help but feel disgusted by being covered in Granny spit. She was moaning while she was kissing me, which made it worst.
Then she said something that I had been dreading... “You turn over bae bae”. I was a little confused, I turned over and said “rimming?”, “You give me rimming first?” I couldn’t understand what she was saying, then she said “you give twenty” and started indicating 20 on her hand and said “twenty me”. I said “okay okay” and lay back down. Then she got a wet wipe and cleaned my arse. Then she started kissing around my cheeks, then spread my cheeks apart and started eating my arse and using her finger to massage around my crack and inner thighs. She raped my arsehole with her tongue. Then she got me to get on all fours, then spread my cheeks again and started sucking my arse. It was the weirdest thing I have ever experienced. I’ve had my arse licked more than a few times, but this shit was next level. She also made sure to give my balls and flaccid cock some attention. The sound Amy made during this reminded me of a dog drinking water or perhaps an old Chinese granny slurping a ramen. This went on for several minutes, and to be honest, it felt interesting and good at times, but never really even turned me on.
Then she said something to me which I didn’t understand, so I turned around and she motioned giving a blowjob. I said “okay okay”. I turned around and lay back on the bed and looked at the ceiling so I didn’t have to look at her while she grabbed my flaccid cock and gently started wanking it. She also rubbed my inner thigh and balls. As I concentrated on the ceiling and did my best to think of attractive girls, my dick started to get a little bit of blood flow with the help of the Viagra. It did that thing, I don’t know if any of you guys have experienced it, but where the top part of the dick starts to get erect, but the lower part stays shrivelled up. As if the Vigara was fighting against my mentally turned off state. Then she wrapped her wrinkly old lips around my semi-flaccid cock and started giving me a blowjob. There was a clock on the wall, and I kept looking at it, wanting the experience to be over. Now I know how clock-watching escorts feel. After a minute of her trying to give me a blowjob, I tapped out and said “okay okay". “I need to go”, motioning to my wrist as if I was wearing a watch. I tried to get up, and she said something for me to wait and lie back down.
Then she got a wet wipe and used it to clean me. As soon as she was done, I jumped up and started getting dressed. I put my t-shirt on and she opened the room door so if anyone went past they would have seen my bare naked arse and balls. I think she was a little offended that I didn’t get hard during the booking and wanted to end the session early. So she never offered me a shower or helped me to get dressed as she did for OldMacdonald. Some of you guys will be really disappointed she didn’t piss on me either. Maybe you have to book one hour for that kind of golden treatment. After I was dressed, I quickly left feeling disgusted and ashamed of myself. After I made it back to my car, I decided to book another escort to replace the memory of Old Amy and ended up going to Debonairs.
To be fair, she’s probably not as repulsive as all the punters made her out to be. But as OldMacdonald said, she definitely doesn’t have much in the way of sex appeal. She is probably still a small step up from Young Ava, so I am glad the guys didn’t vote to send me there. Amy probably gives the best rim jobs in town, so if you are in the mood for a rim job of a lifetime and don’t care what she looks like, then Old Amy is for you. They seemed to have changed their pricing now, though, so they have lowered the base rate and are instead offering extras. If you do indeed want to experience something like this... You would be better off going there and then trying negotiating with her to include what you want before the booking, although they speak barely any English, so it would be difficult lol.
The following travesty happened today (in February 2025). I’m a punter of my word and went back to see Old Amy today, the winner of my "The Sacrifice" competition. And the Golden Queen of OldMacdonald’s amazing review. Before I started the mission, I dropped a Viagra, it did cross my mind to drop two of them, but I don’t think it would have made any difference. I didn’t bother trying to book her, I just jumped in my car and went straight to Newmarket station. The shop is number 13, which was just two doors down from the closed place I went to last week. The shop is just an unassuming massage place. It doesn’t have any indication of what kind of massage they do there. I took a deep breath, then opened the door and entered.
Inside there was a little counter to the right and two chairs to the left. There was a plump Asian lady in her late 30s sitting on the chair, fixated on her phone. She didn’t even notice me. Relief poured over me, oh she’s not that bad. Then the lady looked up at me, then called out down the corridor “AMY!” A moment later, Amy appeared with a smile... she didn’t look a day over 70. Her hair was medium length and dyed black. It looked like it had extensions in. Her wrinkly face was covered heavily with pancake makeup. To be honest she probably wasn’t as bad as I was expecting, but still... pretty bad. Now looking at her profile, I think the photo that looks the most like her is the old lady at the beach... but imagine that lady 15-20 years older. If it wasn’t for the excessive makeup and skimpy outfit she would look like any other slightly overweight old Chinese granny walking with her roller bag to Tai Ping supermarket to get her groceries. I think the other younger lady may have been Lulu. I don’t know what happened to Susan.
Face: 1/10
Body: 1.5/10
They spoke very little to no English it was hard to converse with them about the price. I think they have upgraded their cardboard sign since OldMacdonald went. Instead there was a sign on the wall that just said “Sensual Massage” and the prices. I didn’t want to prolong my suffering, so I just said 30 minutes and gave Old Amy $100. Lulu had to give Amy $20 out of her purse to give me change. After I paid, they put some music on in the massage place, the singer sounded like the Chinese version of Frank Sinatra, something from the 50s or 60s. Then Old Amy led me to a little room, the second one down the corridor. It was very small, and the walls were painted pink. It had a massage table, a little side table with a lamp, a fan, and that’s it. When I was room, she locked the door from the inside, trapping me. She indicated for me to take my clothes off. I was having second thoughts, so I stripped down to just my boxer shorts and then got on the massage table. Amy moved a pillow out of the way to reveal a hole I could put my face in. Then she tugged at the back of my boxers and said, “Okay baby, okay?” I gave in and said “okay”, then she ripped my boxers off me so that I was butt naked. Then she began the massage.
It was quite a good therapeutic massage, a bit too rough for me. Chinese massage tends to be quite rough, which is not really my thing. Throughout the whole massage she kept playing with the cheap standing fan, adjusting the speed, etc. She made sure to massage in between my buttocks and inner thighs, and her hand rubbed against my balls numerous times. I was lying face down trying my best to suppress a laugh. I couldn’t believe I was doing this shit just for you guys. I was doing it for the LOLs. The most painful thing about the massage was when she grabbed my thighs and pulled her hands down, squeezing my flesh. It was borderline excruciatingly painful. Then she stopped the massage and got up on the table, and started licking me from my neck down to my arse, then to my feet. She said, “okay, Daddy?” I said “okay” even though she must have been at least 25 years my senior. I couldn’t help but feel disgusted by being covered in Granny spit. She was moaning while she was kissing me, which made it worst.
Then she said something that I had been dreading... “You turn over bae bae”. I was a little confused, I turned over and said “rimming?”, “You give me rimming first?” I couldn’t understand what she was saying, then she said “you give twenty” and started indicating 20 on her hand and said “twenty me”. I said “okay okay” and lay back down. Then she got a wet wipe and cleaned my arse. Then she started kissing around my cheeks, then spread my cheeks apart and started eating my arse and using her finger to massage around my crack and inner thighs. She raped my arsehole with her tongue. Then she got me to get on all fours, then spread my cheeks again and started sucking my arse. It was the weirdest thing I have ever experienced. I’ve had my arse licked more than a few times, but this shit was next level. She also made sure to give my balls and flaccid cock some attention. The sound Amy made during this reminded me of a dog drinking water or perhaps an old Chinese granny slurping a ramen. This went on for several minutes, and to be honest, it felt interesting and good at times, but never really even turned me on.
Then she said something to me which I didn’t understand, so I turned around and she motioned giving a blowjob. I said “okay okay”. I turned around and lay back on the bed and looked at the ceiling so I didn’t have to look at her while she grabbed my flaccid cock and gently started wanking it. She also rubbed my inner thigh and balls. As I concentrated on the ceiling and did my best to think of attractive girls, my dick started to get a little bit of blood flow with the help of the Viagra. It did that thing, I don’t know if any of you guys have experienced it, but where the top part of the dick starts to get erect, but the lower part stays shrivelled up. As if the Vigara was fighting against my mentally turned off state. Then she wrapped her wrinkly old lips around my semi-flaccid cock and started giving me a blowjob. There was a clock on the wall, and I kept looking at it, wanting the experience to be over. Now I know how clock-watching escorts feel. After a minute of her trying to give me a blowjob, I tapped out and said “okay okay". “I need to go”, motioning to my wrist as if I was wearing a watch. I tried to get up, and she said something for me to wait and lie back down.
Then she got a wet wipe and used it to clean me. As soon as she was done, I jumped up and started getting dressed. I put my t-shirt on and she opened the room door so if anyone went past they would have seen my bare naked arse and balls. I think she was a little offended that I didn’t get hard during the booking and wanted to end the session early. So she never offered me a shower or helped me to get dressed as she did for OldMacdonald. Some of you guys will be really disappointed she didn’t piss on me either. Maybe you have to book one hour for that kind of golden treatment. After I was dressed, I quickly left feeling disgusted and ashamed of myself. After I made it back to my car, I decided to book another escort to replace the memory of Old Amy and ended up going to Debonairs.
To be fair, she’s probably not as repulsive as all the punters made her out to be. But as OldMacdonald said, she definitely doesn’t have much in the way of sex appeal. She is probably still a small step up from Young Ava, so I am glad the guys didn’t vote to send me there. Amy probably gives the best rim jobs in town, so if you are in the mood for a rim job of a lifetime and don’t care what she looks like, then Old Amy is for you. They seemed to have changed their pricing now, though, so they have lowered the base rate and are instead offering extras. If you do indeed want to experience something like this... You would be better off going there and then trying negotiating with her to include what you want before the booking, although they speak barely any English, so it would be difficult lol.